3 Tips for When Work and Motherhood Collide

I love my kids. I love my work. But when the two collide, it often looks rather messy. Can I get an Amen?

Yesterday I was filming a short practice to load on my YouTube channel. My husband was watching the kids and I was all set to knock it out. The practice is going perfectly until the final resting pose.  I cue for everyone to find the most relaxing part in their body and focus on that part.  As soon as I say that, I hear my toddler lose it crying.  I continue on.  In the video I say, imagine that relaxed place in your body growing and deepening.  Once I say that my infant joins my toddler in crying because he sympathy cries for his big brother. I could swear they were trying to harmonize.  Laying there, trying to cue rest and relaxation I feel every emotion from frustration to laughter at the irony of the timing.

Check out the video.

When I finished, I came into the living room where my husband was with the kids and ask him what happened. Turns out my toddler was having his snack and he accidentally bit one of his fingers, which he has never done before.

So what do you do when work and motherhood collide and threaten to make you come unglued?

1- Take a deep breath before you react

So often I want to have a knee jerk reaction when things go not according to plan.  Taking that moment to pause helps me to refocus my brain to take the drama out of the situation. On the scientific side of things, taking that moment to pause helps us to manage the physiological response of the body from switching into the sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is the fight or flight response that is perfect for when you are being chased by a lion but not exactly the way you want to respond to your children. Taking a moment to breath triggers the parasympathetic response and allows you to respond to the situation in a calmer state.

2- Laugh

I know the last thing you feel like doing when you are frustrated is laugh. If I have learned anything about parenting, it is that there is always a funny side to the situation… even if its ironic.  Like in my situation with the video, what are the chances that my toddler would accidentally bite his finger right during final resting pose? I have heard the saying “if you don’t laugh you’ll cry”.  While it may not be the healthiest saying, it does reveal a good point. Many times when faced with unplanned frustrating situations, we have a flood of thoughts and feelings.  Laughter and crying are two of the most powerful ways to release that flood of emotion.  It is when those stressful emotions are bottled up that we create struggle within our bodies- everything from our digestion to our thought patterns are affected.

3- Savor

Know that this season with your children will not last forever.  I don’t say that to make you feel any mom guilt.  I say that to encourage you to change the angle of the situation. Even though things are tense, what can you be grateful for in this moment? What about your child(ren) can you be grateful for?  It is amazing what can happen to our perspective when we focus on the positive instead of the chaos.

I wish you the absolute best in your motherhood journey.  Offer yourself love, compassion, and a bit of grace in this season.  You are not alone in this journey and I am always here to support you!